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Monday, May 16, 2011

Santas Slay Review

Even though Christmas is still seven months away, I couldn't help but watch Bill Goldberg as a killer Santa.
I'm not even sure where to begin with this review. I guess I can start with the fact that I love this film and consider it to be a guilty pleasure. To me, this is the greatest Christmas themed horror movie. The movie opens with five of the greatest minutes in all of cinema as we get to witness the deaths of James Caan, Chris Kattan, and Fran Drescher. After they are all dispatched rather quickly by a killer Santa, played greatly by former wrestling champ Bill Goldberg who coincidentally is Jewish, we get to find out the back story on old Santa. We are shown "The Book Of Claus", which reveals the origins of Santa Claus. Apparently, Santa was the result of a virgin birth produced by Satan (just as Jesus was the result of a virgin birth produced by God- meaning that Santa is somewhat of an Antichrist). Christmas was "The Day of Slaying" for Santa until, in 1005 AD, an angel defeated Santa in a curling match and sentenced Santa to deliver presents on Christmas for 1000 years. This means that Santa is free to kill again in 2005. And kill he does, Goldberg racks up an astonishing 35 kills in the movie, sometimes in a very comical manner. The dialogue is ridiculous and over the top but who cares? That is what makes this movie so perfect. Goldberg was born to wrestle and play a killer Santa Claus. They left the ending open so a sequel could be produced but so far I haven't heard of one getting a green light. When you watch the movie, make sure to  watch through the credits for a funny little surprise. If you are a fan of cheesy horror and senseless killing, check out Santa's Slay.